Identify the pain
WORDS that stuck
Words that demean, belittle, discourage, even words that compliment, but not for the talents for which we wish compliments, often stick without our knowledge.
"You are nothing, you are nothing." I am so too something," that little girl Maggie said. The adult Maggie would have said those words didn't have an effect, until I realized that they did. And my mentally ill mother's "You shouldn't have been born," though coming from the mouth of her illness had its effect too.
WAYS TO CHANGE THOSE WORDS:
Begin with the GOLD in us. Each of us has a piece of Divine gold in us from birth. That gold, in my case, was covered with piles of manure. It was still there, untarnished. That Divine gold connects us with the greater Divine. One way of connecting with that Divine gold, is to remind ourselves that it is there. A couple of ideas:
1. Make up your personal mantra that says, in your words, "I am connected
to the Divine. The Divine good is part of
2. If you are tech savvy, record your voice saying to that little girl or boy, "You are a beloved child of God (or the Divine or the Universe)." Make up your own
saying that speaks to you.
Had someone suggested this to me, I would have said to those interior voices, "I am too something." In the beginning, I couldn't have said, "I am a beloved child of God/the Universe/the Divine."
None of that would have spoken to me.
I would have preferred to write the words, "You are nothing" on a sheet of paper and blot it out, writing over it, "I am too something." Find what works for YOU! You are too something!!!
I AM LOVED
LOVE is such a freighted word--so many meanings, so much of how we feel about ourselves mixed in it.
Can we love ourselves? Reaching down inside to love that little boy or girl who still resides within is the beginning. I found a photo of me before I was in the cult. I saw a bouncy, energetic, happy girl.
I knew her too. She was the Maggie whose eyes shown with delight at the double rainbow, who practically jumped up and down as the fireworks lit the sky. I could love that child. But could I feel that she was part of the Maggie who was soiled by the rapes and chants of "you are nothing," and participation in the damage of others?
Grade school pictures show a girl with sad eyes even when a smile of sorts is formed by her lips. That girl needed more love, compassion for who she had to be to survive. Learning to love ourselves is a process. Let's begin that process now.
1. Take a photo of you, either as a child
or a more recent one. Paste or tape it
on a sheet of paper where there is
room to write above it. Write "GOD
LOVES PRECIOUS and your name.
Put it where you can see it every day.
2. If the word or image of God is too
negative for you (it was for me for
years), substitute a word that speaks
to you of love. It could be the name of
3. Using God, Jesus, Allah, Yahweh, the Divine, Mother Nature, whatever
works for you, and write (your name) is a beloved child of _______ in
whom he/she is well pleased. Make
this so you can hang or stick it on or
near your mirror.
4. The one that worked for me first
was "The Divine gold in Maggie is
not tarnished by the muck that
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